'Amma' still standing, but lots of others weren't

Last weekend I had an experience. Amma was in town. Amma, meaning mother, is a woman who is revered here in India and throughout the world as the Hugging Saint. She’s a woman who, since she was a young girl, has embodied love and continues to exemplify hope for so many. She’s an activist who has dedicated her life to help make the world an easier place to live, and her organization and ashram in Kerala, South India is a spiritual home and headquarters for her monastic disciples and devotees.

I first heard about Amma about 6-7 years ago when she was touring in the US. All I knew of her then was that people stood in line for hours to receive a hug and blessing from her. Skeptic that I am, I decided against the 5-hour road trip to see her. So, when I found out she was going to be in Mysore, India at the very time I was here, I decided to check it out.

Prepared for the worst, i.e. no bathrooms, blazing sun and unimaginable crowd, I arrived early with a group of friends and peers from Mysore, some of who had seen her in the US. To my great surprise upon our arrival 2.5 hours before the event was slated to begin, I was very happy to be able to sit down in an actual chair, under cover from the sun and, yes, I’m told there were bathrooms. We went through the process of separating (male/ female) and collecting a ticket that would later (TBD) be exchanged for another ticket with a number that permitted us to stand in a line to receive a hug. While it was somewhat redundant, the process was much less involved than I assumed it would be. We chatted with one another, took in the sights and sounds and listened to the opening prayers that lasted a minimum of an hour (and they were reading at least 7 ppm (that’s prayers per minute) prior to Amma’s celebrated entrance! In that time, the crowds began to file and stack in, row-by-row, chair-by-chair (kids are 2 to a seat), prayer-by-prayer. Amma's devotees who you could easily identify from their all-white attire, appeared to be largely in charge of organizing the event, with help from local volunteers. It's worth noting that the majority of devotees also appeared to be Westerners.

Something that continues to strike me here and seemed exacerbated at this event is not only the lack of available (personal) space, but the fact that this is common-place and I think even preferred by many. I've said it before and it still remains true. If there is any space left lingering between any 2 objects, it will be occupied in the blink of an eye. It's also remarkable how familiar even strangers are with one another. No one hesitates to  touch, tap, speak to or instruct another if it suits their immediate needs. So many people throughout the entire day (it lasted only 7.5 hours for me...much longer for other folks) attempted time and time again to make their own rules and if no one was present to stop them, then success was all theirs. Generally, however, the aforementioned devotees were on it and had to flex some muscle and become surprisingly direct with many members of the audience in an effort to maintain order at times, peace. 

When Amma made her entrance a red carpet was rolled out, people pressed their bodies into one another so that it felt hotter and closer than a steaming iron on linen pants, and the ceremony began. After introductions, updates on current projects including a new hospital in Mysore, giving thanks to the organizers, a ticket for ticket exchange, a kirtan which was very enjoyable to listen and sing with and a speech from Amma ( I had to get up and walk around at that point..we were 6 hours in and I was losing the battle of being ok with having no idea when the hugging would begin! )...I returned to my seat during prayer and meditation.

At this point, much of the audience already thinned out and was walking around the grounds or out of earshot of what was happening onstage. I make this point because, as I was sitting listening to Amma, I noticed how basic and simple her message, her words, even her examples were. In fact, it was so elementary, that I noticed myself growing impatient. I didn't understand in the moment the reason for her emphasis on things like, for example, thinking of others, helping to raise children and leading by example, acting out of love and kindness toward the world. These are things I think of and have always thought of on a very regular basis. I suppose I became a bit egocentric in these moments, because the message was beyond obvious...to me.

And then it happened. Following a moving session of prayer and meditation, instructions for how to line up for a hug were announced. The system appeared to be quite simple. Look at your ticket. It has a letter and number on it. Check the posts by the stage. When you see your letter and number appear, line up. 

I can't say for sure where the breakdown occured..1 complete and total guess is the english alphabet and number system on each ticket that was used to direct a partially illiterate and non-english speaking crowd of people...but rest assured, there was (in my mind, at least) a breakdown. Suddenly the crowd swelled, women in their 6th and 7th and 8th decades who were dressed in their best Saris were on the ground, climbing under ropes, clawing at people, pushing and shoving their way to the line that connected them to the stage where Amma sat. After about 10 minutes of figuring out how to reclaim my personal space (and by reclaim I mean how to get people out from the ground beneath my skirt), certain things began to make more sense. Suddenly I wasn't sure I wanted to be there any longer as I realized the implications that this brief meeting with Amma held for so many people. So many of these people are desperate. Amma is a sign of hope, of a chance for something, anything, better than what they currently know and have in life. For them, seeing and touching and being blessed by Amma is a potential way out. 

It was humbling in so many respects to stand there and understand this realization.

I eventually received a hug. Some say it's a life-altering experience. Others find themselves in tears or feel her energy moving through them. By the time I got to Amma, I felt somewhat violated. In truth, I had a flashback of the one time in my life I spent 10 minutes on Bourbon Street during Mardis Gras, an experience I vowed never to put myself through again! (Beignets and coffee however, that's a different story!) From the moment I stepped into the back of the line, I was man-handled all the way up to and even after that hug. I also felt something, though I'm not sure how to describe it on a visual/ energetic level for a split second when our gaze met, and indeed, I acknowledge a great deal of respect and gratitude for a woman who is able to offer so much hope and who continues to spread her message of love to those who need it most throughout the world.